A Familial Stranger

Following the Cambodian genocide, my grandma Simone and my mother Sara (Socheata) were living in separate refugee camps in Thailand— unaware the other was living. After my grandma was sponsored to live in Rochester, New York, she heard through extended family that my mom survived, and arranged to reunite. Having been separated since she was five, my mom couldn’t recognize my grandma at the airport— but they started a new life together.

Around ten years later, they were separated again after my mom refused an arranged marriage— running away to Rhode Island the night before her wedding. The next day, my grandma and her American boyfriend were married instead. Since then, my grandma has lived in Hilton, a rural town in Upstate New York, with my step-grandpa. Controlling, berating, and disowned by his family, he refuses to move with her to Rhode Island to be with her only living child. Thus, my mom and grandma visit each other once or twice a year. This summer, I visited my grandma for the first time since I was fourteen, and for the first time on my own; observing her, the house, and gardening as survival.